Biggest Loser

I am a big fan of The Biggest Loser. I haven't always been a fan. When it first came on I saw a few episodes, but I just couldn't get into it. And I know why - there was just something wrong about sitting in front of the TV eating Doritos and watching others work their butts off and losing tons of weight. I just didn't want to be reminded of what I wasn't doing for myself.

But once my head was in the right place and I myself was losing weight I became a huge fan of the show. That was just this past season. And I quickly became a HUGE fan of Daniel. For several reasons. The first being that I felt he had the desire - had come to that mental place of making the big changes in his life that were so desperately needed - and I felt bad that his partner (David) had not come to that same place and was proving to be a hinderance in his journey. The second reason I was a huge fan is because I kina felt like I knew him! Daniel went to my kids school (my kids attend a small Christian school) - we had seen him on campus - everyone knew who Daniel was. So he was the hometown kid and even though he didn't know me - I felt like I knew him (though I realize I really didn't). My kids also recognized him and we quickly began to cheer him on.

We were super excited to find out that he had been given a second chance on this latest season of the show. His humble attitude and gracious spirit led him to choose Shay as his partner - he identified with being the heaviest contestant on the show. (On a side note - how does losing 17 pounds in one week earn you the privelege of getting voted off?!?!?! Seriously? So wrong!)

So we were so disappointed when he got voted off the show last night - just 2 pounds shy of losing 200 pounds! He has accomplished so much and even though we really don't know him - feel a sense of pride in his awesome accomplishments.

At the end of the episode they did the "reveal" of the ousted players. They showed Daniel going home and re-uniting with his family. They also showed him re-uniting with his friend, David, from the previous season. David is obviously still struggling with his weight. When Daniel asked him where his head was with his weight his response was ""I've got other things going on that are more important to me right now," he told Daniel. "I'm overweight, yeah I'm a big guy... I don't feel unhealthy. So when that changes, then I'll start losing it."

I just started to cry when he said that. That is exactly where I was at one time. I had other priorities. I had small children that took up all my time. I had a career that I was trying to move up in. I didn't "feel" unhealthy. I also recently saw an interview that Ellen did with Mo'nique where she addressed her recent weight loss. She said she started out at 262 pounds and that at that weight when she looked at herself naked in the mirror she didn't see anything wrong with herself - she saw a sex kitten - full of life and vitality.

I did all the same things ... for years. I wouldn't do Weight Watchers. I wouldn't entertain surgery. I knew that I was not mentally ready. And to cover I convinced myself that I was OK with who I was and how fat I was. I was a good person. I was a nice person. I was outgoing and I had lots of friends. I chose to ignore a lot of things. I chose to ignore my high blood pressure that had me taking 3 different pills. I chose to ignore the SEVERE sleep apnea I had that impaired my sleep as well as my body's ability to regenerate, etc.... I chose to ignore my high levels of triglycerides, my high cholesterol, my insulin resistance, my not-so-gradual path to type 2 diabetes, my inability to breathe going up stairs, the fact that all of my doctors were concerned about my health, the fact that my children couldn't sit on my lap - or rather my lack of lap.

I knew that I needed to loose the weight - but I also knew that I wasn't ready. I knew that any effort to do it would be totally unfruitful until my mind caught up with what my body was screaming at me. So seeing David say that totally brought me back - seeing him in such denial about his need to change broke my heart. But to be honest - until he's ready - he won't be able to do it. And it's obvious he's not ready. This battle is as much a mental battle as it is a physical battle. Dealing with my issues and going through this divorce from food was one of the most difficult mental battles I have ever been through.

So I am praying for the renewing of David's mind and healing of his heart. I know that his friend Daniel will be there to help him along the way when he is ready.

And thank you for being such an inspiration, Daniel. Not only to me and to my family, but to all of those who's hearts you have touched through your appearance on The Biggest Loser.

Overweight

I know! I know! I know! I have been neglecting Pamelot again! I have many worthy excuses, I promise. Though, I'm sure you're not really interested in any of them. It's been a crazy few weeks getting things ready and set up for this year's Upward Cheerleading season. The work as Cheer Commissioner is keeping me a bit busy. I am also in a very busy phase of my project at work.

I am now 10 months out from surgery - hard to believe. I am in the phase where I am able to eat more and more foods - my body is adjusting nicely to my new insides - and I am feeling like I have adjusted to "my new normal". It's no longer this new novel thing to have had gastric bypass. I feel like I have finally adjusted and settled in to life with a smaller stomach and less intestines (romantic isn't it?). I don't have to think so hard about what I'm going to eat, or plan ahead so much. This is just my life and I have settled into it. And I like it.

The weight loss has slowed dramatically - as I knew it would. I would like to lose 20-30 more pounds. I feel that when I up my exercise (I have been slowly getting back to exercise since my ear surgery) I will be able to get a better handle on that and make some progress there. The scale still does move, which is encouraging.

I was having an interesting conversation with some co-workers about BMI yesterday. We were talking about what a "normal" BMI is - how most people are not "normal", and how even though I have lost over 100 pounds I would still be considered in the "obese" range. We were playing around with a BMI calculator and seeing what different weight and heights gave us. So I plugged in my latest weight and discovered .... I am finally overweight! I am no longer obese!

18.5 or less	Underweight
18.5 to 24.99	Normal Weight
25 to 29.99	Overweight
30 to 34.99	Obesity (Class 1)
35 to 39.99	Obesity (Class 2)
40 or greater	Morbid Obesity

Some calculators also put a category of BMI's above 45 as "Super Morbidly Obese". At my heaviest just before surgery my BMI was 47.6, and so I fell into that awful category. As if "obese" isn't bad enough - you add morbidly to it - then super morbidly. UGH! I always hated that! But it was telling me what I didn't want to hear.

Dictionary.com defines the word morbid as:

1.	suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.: a morbid interest in death.

2.	affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.

3.	pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy.

4.	gruesome; grisly.

Unhealthy mental state or attitude - check. I had a bad attitude (some would argue I still do!)
Characteristic of disease - check. High Blood Pressure, Sleep Apnea, sneaking up on Type II Diabetes, hard to breathe, hard to exercise, hard to do just about anything.
Pertaining to diseased parts - check. Not much to explain there - felt like my whole body was diseased.
Gruesome; grisly - check. That is definitely how I felt about myself.

But I spent many years denying and simply avoiding this about myself. If I can actually loose these last pounds I will find myself in a "normal" BMI range. That actually blows my mind a bit.

I'm still here!

I'm still here! I haven't blogged since surgery - it took a lot more out of me than I had anticipated. I really had a hard time with the vertigo and pain afterwards. But I am finally back to work now and seem to have a handle on my vertigo.

Now I am working on getting back to my exercise routine. I am going to try to take it slow and start out with some walking and work on the elliptical before starting to run again. But the weather is perfect for a good long run and I'm anxious to get back on the road.

And I had hit another stall in my weight loss with my surgery - hardly eating anything and hardly moving - my body was in like hybernation mode. But now I seem to be moving in the downward direction again. I have about 30 more pounds I would like to loose. I am also seeing that my size 12 clothes are starting to get a little loose. Hard to wrap my mind around. I'm hoping that once I get back to my exercise routine it will really start to melt off.

I recently agreed to take on the position of "Cheer Commissioner" for the Upward Cheerleading season that coincides with their Basketball season. I have been a coach in this league for the past couple of years and have always really enjoyed it. So this year when I was asked if I wanted to be the "Cheer-missioner" I jumped at the chance. That season is about to get under way. I have always coached the Kindergarten - second grade squad. It can be a total challenge dealing with that age group, but I love the girls that I get to coach and get to know.

So I'm just checking in for now. I promise to be better on my blogging. :)

Surgery Report

I had surgery this morning. And it went much better than expected. Surgery was scheduled to begin at 9:30. I was about a half hour late going back to the OR. Surgery was about an hour. The doctor discovered that there was actually no cholesteatoma tumor - just a ton of infection and residue from the infection in the form of fungus. Yeah - fungus - EW! The doctor cleared out the infection in the middle ear and in the mastoid bone. He also reconstructed my ear drum from a some facia from my ear.

I am relieved to have not had a cholesteatoma as they tend to grow back and I would have probably had more surgeries to come to remove more of them. I am also glad that he didn't have to do a "canal wall down" procedure where they make an incision behind the ear and basically remove the ear and go in behind the ear canal. He was able to go in through the ear with a powerful microscope.

I am having quite a bit of dizziness and vertigo since the surgery. Doc had anticipated that and sent me home with some good drugs and a patch that I can wear for 3 days. Hoping that as I recover and the swelling, etc... from the surgery goes down that will get better. Unfortunately, that will just take some time.

I am also having quite a bit of pain. Trying to do all that work through my ear canal means there was a lot of pushing and pulling. My ear is very sore. Also - rebuilding the ear drum from part of the facia in my ear - not fun. Again - doc sent me home with some good drugs for that as well.

I was also sent home with this lovely contraption:

Yes, I agree, it looks like I have a jock strap on my head. :) It's meant to give my ear some protection from bumps, etc... With 3 kids and 2 dogs, let me tell 'ya, it is helpful. I get to take it off Tuesday morning. Then we will start with some ear drops and applying ice off an on throughout the day to help with pain management and swelling.

All in all the surgery went better than expected. Here's hoping that the recovery does, too.

Myths about Weight Loss Surgery

I frequent a site called Obesity Help. They often have some great articles on there. I really liked the one they recently posted on myths surrounding weight loss surgery. So I am posting it here.


1. Weight loss surgery requires an inpatient hospital stay.
Not true! In fact, most weight loss surgeries can now be performed as an outpatient. The laparoscopic adjustable gastric band is the most popular outpatient weight loss procedure. The laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy can often be performed as an outpatient. Laparoscopic Roux-en-Y gastric bypass can also be performed with an overnight stay or a short one to two-night hospital stay.

I was released from the hospital the day after my surgery.

2. Weight loss surgery has high risks.
While weight loss surgery used to be considered a high-risk operation in the 1970s and 80s, this was due to many factors including the large open incision required, the severe medical problems of the patient candidate, and the relative inexperience of the surgeons and staff. All of these factors have changed markedly. Today, weight loss surgery is performed very safely with low risks in the hands of experienced surgeons and centers. And while any treatment or surgery or intervention has risks, for most people considering weight loss surgery, the risks of not undergoing surgery usually far exceed the risks of undergoing the procedure.

3. Surgery is the “easy way out.”
Successfully losing weight and keeping it off with weight loss surgery requires lots of hard work. It requires undergoing a rigorous evaluation and then attending educational classes and support groups and working on lifelong healthy habits and behaviors. It requires a great commitment and desire to achieve a valuable lifelong goal of reaching and maintaining a healthy weight.

Don't get me started on this one. Major pet peeve of mine.

4. You have to weigh over 300 pounds to qualify for weight loss surgery.
Many studies and many societies including the American Heart Association, the National Institutes of Health and the Medicare Reimbursement Process consider people candidates based on health conditions plus a calculation of the height and weight called the Body Mass Index or BMI (go to www.sasseguide.com to calculate your BMI). Numerous studies in recent years have shown marked health advantages to even moderately obese individuals who undergo weight loss surgery. Many people qualify who are as little as 50 pounds overweight.

My insurance requirements were a BMI of 40 or above OR BMI of 35
with 2 co-morbidities. I started out at a BMI of almost 48 and I
had 2 serious co-morbidities - high blood pressure and severe sleep
apnea.

5. People who undergo weight loss surgery need to have advanced, serious health conditions such as advanced diabetes and heart disease to qualify.
Each individual is assessed based on his or her specific health conditions and the Body Mass Index calculation. It is widely agreed that anyone with a Body Mass Index over 40 qualifies for weight loss surgery, even in the absence of health problems. It is also widely agreed that people with a Body Mass Index over 35 qualify for weight loss surgery when one or more obesity-related health conditions is present (including high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol and obstructive sleep apnea).

6. You have to be in perfect health to qualify for weight loss surgery.
In fact, many people undergoing weight loss surgery do have health problems related to obesity. Some of these individuals have mild forms of the conditions and other people have more severe forms of the conditions. Each person should be assessed by an experienced bariatric surgeon to determine candidacy.

If you were in perfect health - why would you need surgery? Let's
own up to it - if you're heavy enough to qualify for surgery you are not in
perfect health.

7. There is a long recovery time after weight loss surgery.
Most people recover from weight loss surgery within one to two weeks. Some people go back to work and activities within a few days, especially after adjustable gastric banding surgery.

I timed my surgery between Christmas and New Year's. I took 4
days off of work - I was back to work a week after surgery. It was one of
the easiest surgeries to recover from - and I've had my share of
surgery.

8. After weight loss surgery, you won’t be able to eat anything that’s good.
Most people can eat a wide variety of all kinds of foods after weight loss surgery. Some people who have had Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery experience an unpleasant sensation when eating concentrated sweets such as desserts. However, most people can eat just about anything after weight loss surgery in small quantities.

Let's face it - I have redefined what "good" means to me. It does
take a while to get back to being able to eat "normally", but with the exception
of foods high in sugar - you should be able to eat other foods in
moderation.

9. You have to be a certain age to have weight loss surgery.
While it’s true that most centers describe age criteria, the range is usually very wide such as from 18 to 65. In addition, there are many studies citing the benefits of weight-loss surgery in patients over 65 and under 18.

10. You can’t have surgery if you have diabetes.
In fact, weight loss surgery is fast becoming a primary treatment for diabetes, particularly type II diabetes because of the high rate of cure of the disease after weight-loss surgery.

11. You’ll have a large incision and a big scar from weight-loss surgery.
Many centers perform over 95% of the weight loss surgical cases with minimally-invasive surgery or laparoscopy. This normally requires five or six small incisions on the abdomen.

I can't even see the small incisions from my surgery any more. I
have much larger scars from other surgeries.

12. Weight loss surgery is irreversible.
While most weight-loss surgeons and centers believe that it is best to think of the surgery as permanent, the truth is that surgery can be reversible. Laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding, in particular, is reversible fairly easily. Laparoscopic Roux-en-Y gastric bypass is reversible but requires a more significant operation in order to undo the bypass procedure.

It is helpful to think of it as irreversible, though.

13. Weight loss surgery has no real benefits except for looking better.
The truth is that weight loss surgery is primarily an intervention for improved health. While there are side benefits of improved self-esteem and cosmetic appearance, many of the health complications caused by being overweight can be dramatically improved or, in some cases, completely resolved by surgical weight loss procedures.

Two immediate benefits that I had from surgery was resolution of my
blood pressure and my sleep apnea. I was quickly headed to being a
diabetic and that resolved as well. And while I won't lie in that I feel I
do look better - there are parts of me that are SCARY from the extra
skin.

Kent Sasse, MD, MPH, FACS, is founder and medical director of both the
iMetabolic International Metabolic Institute and Western Bariatric Institute. He
is the author of Outpatient Weight-Loss Surgery: Safe and Successful Weight Loss
with Modern Bariatric Surgery. www.sasseguide.com.

Helping

My friend, Leah, has a fantastic way with words. She is a wonderful author. She recently put a great post on her blog about Helping and I had to put a link to it on here for others to see.

http://rondostreet.blogspot.com/2009/09/helping-101.html

She has hit the nail right on the head.

Extra! Extra!

Lots and lots of extra droopy skin.

Yeah - I know - I sound really ungrateful for losing 105 pounds. But seriously - the extra and droopy skin is actually becoming problematic. I won't go into the TMI of it all - just know - it can be disheartening.

That's all I got today.